Waiting and Trusting

Sorry it has been so long since our last post! I want to give you a quick update on where we are in the adoption process.

September/October: We spent many hours making a "Matchbook Letter" to go in the books at all the Crisis Pregnancy Centers. It was quite a challenge to figure out how to best sum-up who we are within a 4 page scrapbook! After many hours of picking photos, designing pages, and writing about our lives, we made 40 copies and sent them off to our agency. Our agency then takes the letters and sends them out to all the CPC's in Arizona.

We also took some time in October to review the total adoption expenses and look at our own finances. We reconfirmed that we will need some financial assistance to make this adoption happen. We are very thankful that there are foundations out there that help fund adoptions through adoption grants. The only problem is that you must be certified to adopt before you can apply for any grants. We are in the process of being certified, but aren't quite there yet.

Our paperwork is at the court, but they are backed up with work from "National Adoption Day". Not a bad reason for our paperwork to be held up! As soon as we are certified (our caseworker believes it will happen by the end of December), then we will send out some grant applications and also send out our matchletters. We trust that God will provide for the adoption and we know that it will happen in the right time!

It has been really interesting to have to put the adoption "on-hold" for a short time. It has taken a lot of trust in God's timing and we are seeing that He is so faithful! There have been many babies placed for adoption during the time that we have been waiting, but we know that they were not the ones we were supposed to adopt. God has a very specific little one for us and I am so glad I can trust Him with that. If I had control, this process would be way too overwhelming. I can see how easy it could be to second guess everything! (If we had only...) I cannot believe that it has already been a year since God started us on this journey!

October 30th: We got to see baby Savannah and her family at our annual Fall Festival! It was so great to see them all doing so well! I got to hold miss Savannah and I was amazed by the peace in that moment. It was so obvious that the right decision was made. We are thankful for the new friends we have in Hayley and Jason and are excited to watch Hayley's daughters grow over the years! I asked Hayley for permission to post a photo of that night for you to see how much Savannah has grown. She is beautiful! She is a little hard to spot... She is in a pumpkin hat sitting with Jason.



Thank you all for your prayers over these past few months! I will update the blog once we are certified and our letter goes out to the Crisis Pregnancy Centers.

Decision Made

After a very long week we sat down with Hayley yesterday to discuss the plan for baby Savannah. As you know, we have been praying that God would give Hayley and us guidance as to what would be the best thing for this precious little one. We really know that God provided that direction for all of us. After many days of questioning, Hayley decided that it would be best for her to keep her baby. We were not surprised by her decision at all. Hayley is in a much different place right now than she was 6 months ago when she found us. She has support around her that wasn't there before.

We spent some time with her celebrating what God has done to provide for all of us and celebrating this new life and new friendship we have found! Although I am sure we will have moments of grief over the loss of what might have been, we are really at peace with how it all worked out. We have no regrets about building a relationship with this mom and are planning on staying in touch and being a part of this little baby girl's life as she grows!

Thank you so much for all your sweet comments, encouraging phone calls, meals, and prayers over the past couple weeks and months! It has been an amazing journey so far and we are really excited to see where God leads us next! The next step is to write a "matchletter" to birthparents that will go in the adoption books at all the local Crisis Pregnancy Centers. From that point we wait to receive a call to either meet a birthmom before she is due or pick up a baby from the hospital. We will keep you informed when things begin to happen.

Until then, please pray for Hayley and baby Savannah as they adjust to life together, pray for wisdom for us as we seek out the next path God will lead us down on this adoption journey, and please pray for protection for whatever little one he is preparing for our family. Thank you!

Love,

Emily and Kurtis

Her Grand Entrance - 9/4/09

As most of you know, Hayley went into labor on Thursday night and her little baby was born at 3:29 a.m. on Friday, September 4th! She weighed 7lbs 12oz and was 20 1/2 in. long. Hayley named her Savannah Renee. Hayley was very sick during the delivery and is still in the hospital with pneumonia in both lungs. They are doing lots of tests to figure out what is going on with her. Because Hayley has been so sick she has not been able to spend very much time with Savannah. We have been able to go in the nursery and hold her a few times, but we wear masks just in case; since we were exposed to whatever Hayley has. Please pray for this little one that she is getting all the love she needs right now in that nursery. The nurses seem to be really sweet, but I wish we could be there more to hold her!

We have only been spending a couple hours a day at the hospital, as we are trying to give Hayley the space she needs during this time. We have gathered from her that she is still very unsure about her decision about adoption. Some complications that have come up are making it even harder for her to choose adoption. As we have said many times, we trust that Hayley will do the best thing for that baby and we trust God for grace and strength when that decision is made. The earliest an official decision can be made is Tuesday after the long holiday weekend. She does not have to make a decision at that point. It is looking like she is going to be in the hospital for awhile and so she may wait until it is time to go home to decide whether or not she is taking the baby with her.

We ask that you pray for Hayley for healing in her body! She is feeling so sick and really wants to be spending time with her baby. Pray for wisdom for her in her decision making. Pray that this precious baby will be held and cared for even when we can't be there doing it for her. Pray for strength for us. Every time Kurtis and I think that some sort of resolution is coming, it seems to stretch on further. We are pretty worn out. God has been providing for us and we know He will continue.

Thank you for your prayers and encourging words! We feel very blessed!

Love,

Kurt and Em

Little Miss Chubby Cheeks

We wanted to put a face with the little baby that we have been talking about since March so you all could see how precious she is. With today's amazing technology this is actually possible! At the ultrasound on Thursday we all giggled at her little chubby cheeks and funny expressions!

As we are nearing the due date, things are not looking very good as far as the probability of us actually adopting this little one. There are many complications right now. We are writing to ask for prayer. Not that we will get to adopt this baby, but prayer for God's will, for wisdom and strength (for Hayley, the birthfather, for us, and everyone else involved)! We do not know where this little one will end up, but one thing we do know for sure is that she is precious to God!

One month to go (or less)...

These past couple months have been a roller coaster ride! As of just a week ago we were pretty sure that the adoption would not be going through. We talked with Hayley and she told us that she was having a very hard time with the decision and was considering keeping the baby. She really wants to do the best thing for this little one, and she felt like that might be best because there were some complications with the birthfather.

Then I received a voicemail from Hayley a couple nights ago saying that the birthfather has agreed to sign paperwork and that they have a meeting with the pregnancy counselor on Monday! This is very exciting news for us.

These next couple days are going to be pretty huge in the whole process. Hayley's friends are throwing her a baby shower today for all the basics in case she ends up keeping the baby or has to have the baby at home for a short time. She has invited us both to attend. At first this seemed too uncomfortable for me (Emily), but we really care about Hayley (no matter what decision she makes) and are excited to go to support her and celebrate this baby! Monday will be a big day with the birthfather and then Thursday we have been invited to attend one last ultrasound with Hayley before the baby is born.

So, that is where the adoption stands. I am sure the decision will get even harder for Hayley as we get closer to the due date. Please continue to pray for wisdom for all involved and for this baby girl! We are really excited to meet her!

As I was talking with some friends the other day about this whole process I was thinking about all that Jesus has done in my life to get me to the point where I can really say these things with peace and confidence! Until recently, my life has been overrun with anxiety and fear. Even just a year or two ago I would have been an absolute mess over this! I am so thankful that God brought healing in my life and has given me an amazing peace, not just in this adoption process, but in all areas of life! I am not saying that I never worry or never fear, but it no longer controls me and for that I am so thankful!

We are really excited for what this next month holds! Whether we adopt this baby or not, we know God has cool things in store for both us and all who are involved. Thank you for your prayers!

Emily

July already?

I remember when we first met Hayley in March I felt like the baby's due date was forever away (September 14th), but now that we're nearing the end of July it is just a couple months off! In fact, the doctor told Hayley to expect this little one to come a few weeks early.

Here is a little update on the progress of the adoption:
We finished up our last meeting with our caseworker. She made her way out to the East Valley to meet with us in our home. It was a pretty relaxed visit. We went over some info from past meetings and she asked us a few more questions to finish up the interviews. Then we gave her a tour of our house to show her how we are preparing for a baby. All in all, it was a really good visit and also a relief to know that we are done with our part of the paperwork and interviews for now :o)

Hayley had an ultrasound last Friday. We did not attend the ultrasound with her, but she did let us know that the baby is still a girl :o) I laughed thinking about what a surprise it would have been to hear differently! She is about 3 1/2 pounds already!

We made our first main purchase for the nursery! We bought some really cute baby bedding! We decided to go with a neutral bedding so we're prepared for a baby boy or girl. We are also starting to look at baby furniture. We know that a nursery does not need to be completed by the time we adopt, but we want to purchase some of the bigger things ahead of time and then go from there. We will be having a baby shower once we have the baby and all the paperwork is signed for the adoption.

We do have some specific prayer requests:
*The birth father has recently been notified of the adoption plan and at this moment he has not decided if he will claim his rights to this child (although it sounds like he might want to). He would prefer to wait for a paternity test which will not be preformed until the baby is born. We are in no way upset with him and understand that this is a very big decision! We would appreciate your prayers for God's wisdom for everyone involved; that the best thing will be done for this baby.

*Please pray for wisdom for Hayley! I am sure this decision gets so much harder at this point in the pregnancy. Our agency told us to expect the birthmom to change her mind many times before the baby is born. We are not quite sure where Hayley is with her decision, but we pray that God will give her wisdom and peace.

*Please also pray for us as we try to prepare for the possibility of adopting this baby in September. We are trying to figure out exactly how to balance excitement with caution. It seems to be especially difficult for me (Emily) to face that we may or may not have a baby in September. It is such a big life change and I don't know how to prepare for both possibilities at the same time.

*As always, please pray for the precious baby growing inside Hayley!

We really appreciate your prayers!

We know that God has a plan through all of this and know that if this is not the baby we are to adopt, then He has another one out there for us. For now, we just feel blessed to have met Hayley and formed a new friendship!

A verse I rely on often is Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I am so thankful that God has a plan!

~Em

A whole month?!

I cannot believe that it has been over a month since we last updated our blog! How time flies! I don't have a lot of time to write tonight, but wanted to give you all a quick update on how things are going with the adoption.

Last week we finished our last of seven adoption classes. They were amazing and we learned so much about the heart behind adoption and how to raise a child who is adopted. We went to class in downtown Phoenix every Tuesday night and would leave after 2 1/2 hours inspired, excited, and exhausted!

After a few meetings with our caseworker, we were presented to the agency board for acceptance into their adoption program. From what our caseworker told us, there should be no reason for us not to make it into the program.

We have one more meeting with our caseworker, where she actually comes to our home for more interviews and to make sure our home is safe for a child. Kurtis and his parents have been working very hard to prepare our house for a baby. I would go to work on Mondays and come home at the end of the day to a different house. I am so thankful for all the work they did! They moved our office to a different room and we are still working on preparing the room that we would like to use for the nursery.

Overall things are going really well with Hayley. We keep in contact weekly and we are really enjoying getting to know her as a friend. We got to meet her 6 year old daughter last week and that was a huge blessing. Her daughter is a little "mini me" of her mom and is so much fun! I am hoping to spend some time with them in my free time this summer.

Although September seems pretty far away, I know that it will be here before we know it (especially with how crazy our summers always are)! We would really appreciate your prayers as we continue to work out the details of the adoption and the financial side of it all. We trust that God has it in His hands and love watching Him unwrap his plan for us moment by moment!

We are so thankful for the prayers, encouraging words, and support we receive from our friends and family and we feel so blessed to have people in our lives to share this journey with! We will do our best to keep you updated over these 3 1/2 months.

Our hearts...

As we have been announcing events we realize we have the "luxury" of thinking through the adoption process every day :) and many of our friends and family get left behind on the journey. We know that there are many concerns about this process and so we wanted to take a moment to process with you.

As we have mentioned, we are not adopting for the sole purpose of "getting a baby". We are convinced of God's calling upon our lives to the journey of adoption. For now, that journey is just as much about the friendship we've found with Hayley as it is about the baby she carries.

Hayley is a remarkably selfless girl! She cares deeply for people! Hayley cares so deeply for this baby girl that she wants to make sure she is raised in the most loving environment possible. Hayley cares so deeply for us that she wants to give us a gift nobody else could!

We feel blessed that Hayley has been so open with us and is allowing us to walk this road with her! It was amazing to be present at the ultrasound and see this miraculous little life that is only 11 oz but already has quite the story!

The decision to place her child in our care is still Hayley's to make (and the decision will remain hers until papers are signed 3-10 days after the baby is born). But what we know about Hayley is that she wants what is best for this child more than we do! That is seriously comforting!

So, what it comes down to for us is that Hayley is a very significant new friend - whether she chooses ultimately to place her baby in our home. We love Hayley either way and so, for right now, this is about a new friendship, following God's lead, and trusting that all things will work together for the good of us all!

Heartache is inevitable in this process, (especially for Hayley), but we trust that God will provide for every need. Some day we will be the right parents for a precious child. We do hope this little girl is the one. We are especially thankful for the opportunity we have been given to know Hayley, and we choose with her, to trust the One who holds the future.

Big Day!

We went to the ultrasound with Hayley today and IT'S A GIRL!

The baby is due September 14. There is still a lot that needs to happen in the process but we continue to see the Lord's leading and trust this is all for Him either way!

Kurt & M

What a Week!

After more than a month with not much to update, the past 9 days have been very eventful! On Saturday, March 28 we drove over to Phoenix to drop off our paperwork at our agency! Pretty much our whole lives condensed down to 52 pages! Our agency isn't open on Saturdays, but I was so anxious to get it out of my hands and turn in. I brought along my tripod and camera for the event :o) We dropped our paperwork in the mail slot and spent a few minutes reflecting on this step completed. We spent some time praying together, thanking God for this amazing process and asking for direction as we take the next steps. To explain why this prayer was especially on our hearts, we will have to back up a few days...

On Wednesday last week, I was on my way to pick up students for church when I got a call from our friend, Jina. I answered, and the first words I heard out of her mouth were "I found a baby for you!!!" She kept explaining, but I think it took me a few minutes to catch all that was happening.

In short, Jina knows a “friend of a friend” who is pregnant and planning on putting her child up for adoption. She told this woman about us, and she decided that she was interested in meeting with us. Just a couple days later we went to lunch with Hayley and we were just amazed by how God orchestrated the meeting.

For the sake of your time we’ll just say that Hayley asked us to be the adoptive parents for her child. Wow! We feel so blessed that a person would consider us to raise their child! Whether we end up adopting her baby or not, we feel blessed to know Hayley! She is a beautiful person who has been through a lot in her life, but is making every effort to do the right things for this new baby. We pray for Hayley, that she will find healing in her life and truly know how much God loves her! She is one of the most selfless people we have ever met.

We are praying that the best thing will happen for Hayley and this baby growing inside her. We do not know if it is best for the child to stay with her, be raised by us, or by someone else. We know that God will make that more clear as the months go on. The baby is due in September, so we have time to figure it all out. Right now we have decided to pursue the possible adoption of this child. We really appreciate your prayers as we go through the process! We will keep you updated.

-M

Paperwork, Paperwork, Paperwork

I am taking a quick break from adoption paperwork to give you an update on the paperwork... 29 pages of paperwork to be exact! Kurtis and I have set aside Tuesday nights so that we can get through it. Last night Kurtis stayed up till about 2 a.m. working on his portion and I think he is almost done. Since I am home sick today, I decided I better try to get caught up.

As crazy as it sounds, we are actually thankful for all this paperwork! As we were answering questions last night like, "Please describe your current support system – family, friends, church members, etc." and "What morals/values do you hope to instill in your child?" I was thinking about what a blessing it is to be evaluating these things before we have a child. I am not sure that we would have spent much time thinking about these things otherwise.

We are also very thankful for the support system we have around us! (That's you, just in case you didn't know!) You all have been so encouraging to us! Thank you for your support and love. We are so richly blessed!

~Emily

One thing close to our hearts in this whole adoption process is the high rate of abortions around the world. We feel that one thing we can do is be willing to take in a baby that might otherwise be aborted. We picked our adoption agency with that in mind. We have decided to work with Christian Family Care Agency for our adoption. One of the main reasons we picked them is because the Crisis Pregnancy Center refers to them. We really appreciate the work that both of these organizations do!

Today we had our first meeting with our adoption agent! It was a little overwhelming because there was so much info to take in, but at the same time, it was amazing to feel like the process is really starting! We will meet with our agent, Carol, about 4 times over the next couple months. During that time we will have lots of paperwork, a home study, and adoption classes to complete. We are hoping to be certified to adopt by this summer. At that point the waiting game begins. We will write a letter to prospective birth parents and then they look through a book of these letters and pick the family they want to place thier baby with. Carol reminded us today that God already has the child picked out for us and His timing will be perfect.

We would appreciate prayers for protection for our child no matter what it is exposed to in the womb. We are also in prayer for the birth family as we are beginning to understand what a selfless thing it is to give a child up for adoption.

It was a normal Sunday afternoon in early November 2008. Kurtis and I were laying around relaxing and reading. I take that back, maybe it wasn't such a normal Sunday afternoon... :O)

Kurtis looked over at me while I was flipping through the pages of my REAL SIMPLE magazine and he said "So, I have been thinking about adoption lately". It took a minute for those words to process in my mind. I had to go back over them a few times... Were those words actually coming out of my husband's mouth? Adoption had never really been a topic of conversation for us.

Kurtis has never felt super excited about bringing a child into this world, and me having some medical issues had made the probability of having children of our own a little less likely. We had decided together a while ago that if God wanted us to have children, it would happen, and if not that would be alright. We were satisfied with the life God had given us and children would just be an extra blessing some day.

When Kurtis brought up adoption that day, I felt the tears immediately welling up in my eyes. What Kurtis didn't know was that for about 2 weeks I had been thinking about how I would like to adopt, but had not brought it up to Kurtis. Turns out, he had been thinking about it also for a couple weeks, but was hoping that I might bring it up if it was the right thing. We sat there and cried and thanked God for this journey He was taking us on. We spent the next few hours discussing our hopes, dreams, and fears about adoption.

I don't remember the events of the rest of the evening, but I do remember leaving that afternoon so excited to begin this adventure that God had born in our hearts...

-Emily